Does This Seem Familiar To You?
by Noraque
Summary: Tony and McGee find themselves in a situation very much like a scene straight out of an Indiana Jones film.
1. Chapter 1

"You know, Agent McGee, it is a real shame that it had to come to this." Alexia Bordorin murmured softly. "I really believed that you and I could have had something special. Travelled the world, met interesting people," she ran her fingers down the side of his face, "and killed them." She gave a sigh. "But it seems your partner Agent DiNozzo thought it would be a good idea to interrupt the party and blow your undercover operation."

"Oh, come on!" Tony called from behind him. "You didn't have to jump to that conclusion. For all you know, I could have been a vengeful hit man, coming to take out the annoying computer expert who sells all his secrets to the highest bidder! Hell, you could still believe it if you thought about it hard enough!"

"Very amusing, Agent DiNozzo." Alexia replied coolly. "But I think it probably would have worked out better for you had you not bellowed out 'Federal agent- get away from McGee!' when you came barging in here."

"I didn't say federal agent! I said…uh… hey Probie, what's something that rhymes with federal agent?"

"How about 'you're a clueless idiot'?"

"That'll work… Hey! I'm the one that's supposed to come up with these cool names and phrases, Probster!"

"And you did that real well, didn't you Tony?"

"Enough." Alexia said. "Since it is obvious you are not a rogue CIA computer specialist coming to sell your country's list of deep cover operatives to me, it seems we have nothing more to discuss. Too bad. You and I could have made quite a formidable pair. Still," she gave a small smile as she crouched down, her face mere inches away from his, "I see no reason why we should part on bad terms. Allow me to show you how we say goodbye to lovers in Russia."

Slowly, she leaned in and, despite his resistance, spread her lips over his and indulged in a long, sensual, lustful kiss. McGee tried to turn his head away and avoid it, but it simply wasn't possible; even though the experience was actually quite enjoyable, he didn't want to enjoy it. This woman was a murderer- a psychopath who had wilfully killed and slaughtered many innocent people and was planning to do so to many more. He felt rather tainted as her lips touched his own.

From the other chair behind him, Tony tried to suppress a gagging sound. Just figures; here he was, under the impression that McGee had been held captive by Alexia Borodin, possibly being tortured in any of the other number of horrible ways all her other victims had been tortured- both for information and for pleasure. He came crashing through the front window; gun drawn all set to unleash hell on the insane serial killer holding his partner captive. And what did he get for it? First a window frame that just happened to come loose the second he came under it and crack him on the head, then being tied to a chair back-to-back with McGee and now being forced to listen to the psycho sex killer- who was admittedly a very hot psycho sex killer- make out with McGee just behind him. _McGee!_ How much more could a man take??

Alexia broke off the kiss, smiled right in McGee's face and then crossed over in front of Tony. The ex-cop, despite his feeling of disgust at what he had seen of the woman's handiwork, smiled and said with his usual charm, "I suppose it's my turn now. If you don't mind, I take my last kisses extra drawn out with not too much tongue in the throat."

Alexia merely smirked down at him. "And this is how we say goodbye to interfering, chauvinist pigs in Russia, Agent DiNozzo." Without warning, she landed a vicious side kick to his crotch. As the senior agent doubled over, she gave another kick right into his forehead; Tony's head snapped back and ended up hitting the back of McGee's, knocking the junior agent forward.

With another smirk, the young woman exited the room into the hall. As they heard the door open and close, Tony shook his head to try to clear the cobwebs from it. Muttering under his breath, which was very hard to do considering a lot had been taken away by Alexia's first blow, he said just loud enough for McGee to hear, "I think I prefer the way Russians say goodbye to lovers better."

"Tell me about it." McGee muttered back. It was not only the fact that Tony's head was as hard as a slab of concrete; that kiss was a lot more pleasurable to him than he would have liked. "I think the next time I go under cover, I'll be sure to bring a safety helmet."

"Are you kidding? Your head's large and solid enough as it is! And anyway, what the hell's going on here Probie? Since when did you go under cover?"

"Since Gibbs assigned it to me a week ago."

"A week? How could you possibly have been undercover a whole week and not have told me?"

"Uh, because I believe the whole point of going undercover Tony is that you _not_ tell people what you're really doing?"

"Yeah, but that's for the criminals- the scumbags. Or, in this case, the super sexy Russian assassin/serial sex murderer, or whatever you want to call her. Not for your best bud!"

"What makes you think you're my best bud, Tony?"

"Come on! This is _me_ we're talking about! Okay, if you're going to be that way, why wouldn't you tell your _senior field agent_ about it?"

"Because Gibbs told me not to tell anyone and his authority outranks yours."

"I can't believe he would do that to me! And any way, if he needed undercover work to be done, why did he choose you when _I_ would have been the much more appropriate choice?"

"You have no idea what was involved, Tony."

"Sure I do. Walk in as bait for the sexy, insane serial killer, lull her into a false sense of security- probably done via a little bit of close, intimate contact- and then watch her face crumble from the satisfaction of being beaten at her own game."

"Oh, you mean what you do to all the blonde bimbos you pick up from bars?"

"Ha, ha, very funny McDateless. The point is that I don't understand why Gibbs would send you in to do a job that was clearly suited for me!"

"So you know the ins and outs of the CIA's security program?"

"I would've improvised. I certainly could have figured out the ins and outs of _her_ security program. And I do mean her _personal_ security program."

"Aw, give it a rest Tony; it's thanks to you we're in this situation right now."

"Yeah, because I thought I had to save your ass again! You can count on me never making that mistake in the future."

"Why, because Ziva would never let you live it down? What would she say if you left her hanging? What would you say if she left _you_ hanging?"

"Please, Probie- Ziva never leaves me hanging. At least not in one sense."

"What did you say Tony?"

"Uh… nothing you need to concern yourself Probie!"

McGee sighed. "Alright. Let's just try to think of a way to get out of here, shall we?"

Tony looked around at their surroundings, trying to figure out their position. Here they were, tied back to back in chairs in a windowless room, plenty of furniture surrounding them, with a large fireplace on one side of it. Something about it seemed very familiar to him…

"You know, this reminds me of a movie…"

**A/N: Don't worry, this will be continued! What do you think so far? Any ideas as to what movie Tony's talking about?**


	2. Chapter 2

"Aw, for the love of God, Tony!" McGee cried in exasperation. "I don't want to hear about how this reminds you of a certain movie! In case you've forgotten where we are, we're…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know where we are." Tony grumbled. "And yes, I know what'll probably happen to us if we don't get high-tailing it out of here pretty soon. Horrific torture followed by an equally horrific death. Followed by a resurrection by Gibbs just to kill us all over again for being careless and stupid."

"You mean killing _you_ for being careless and stupid. I had the situation under control. What were you doing in the neighbourhood anyway?"

"Jeez, no reason to be so cranky McNervy. I was in the neighbourhood because, as far as I knew, you were MIA and the last thing Ziva said you were talking about before you left the yard was that 'you were about to deliver a passage to Moscow'. Now I have no idea what yours and Gibbs' special secret codes are, but from that I gathered you were probably going to try some idiotic investigating without any backup. I came here thinking you were in trouble and to give you a hand."

"Without telling anyone else?"

"Do you really think that Gibbs, Ziva or Abby would have just let me come here as I did? Okay, I screwed up, but that doesn't mean I'm totally to blame for this little situation."

"Well, because you screwed up, now we have no weapons, no backup and Gibbs doesn't expect me to report in for another five hours."

"Five hours? There's no way in hell I'm waiting that long for a last second rescue when that fiendish she-devil is cooking up God-knows what kinds of 'treatments' for us! We need to get the hell out of here!"

"Yeah, well considering we're tied back to back, Tony I'm open to suggestions right now."

"I'm thinking Probie, I'm thinking!"

McGee let out a sigh of exasperation. Honest to God, why did Tony feel he had to have interfered in this situation at all? He had had it all completely under control up until that point- actually was just about in the process of wrapping everything up and setting the stage for Alexia's arrest. But no- Tony in his infinite cowboy attitude had to come claim all the glory for himself. Well that had worked out just terrific, hadn't it? McGee made a mental note to never, ever let Tony any where near a task that Gibbs had given him personally _ever_ again.

Thinking about this suddenly made an idea occur to him. Turning as much as he could towards Tony, he said, "Can you reach into my right coat pocket?"

Tony paused for a second before undertaking the task. "What exactly am I looking for? Not the latest issue of _Elf Lord Online _magazine to pass the time, I hope."

McGee allowed himself a small grin. "Better. Call it paying attention to Gibbs' orders and rules."

"Yeah, that's a real big surprise for you." Tony muttered under his breath. He felt his fingers clasp around something. Feeling the sharp cold touch of metal, he turned towards his partner. "You put a spare knife in your _pocket_ McGee? Of all the places you could keep a spare backup weapon, you put it in the first place someone would look?"

"But she didn't, so that's a point in our favour. Besides, I don't see you pulling out any of your knives to help."

"Yeah, that's because Gibbs and Ziva taught me to always carry them in places that criminals won't generally look." _And, of course, places that are totally inaccessible to me when I'm in dire need of them_.

McGee sighed. "Never mind. Can you just use it to cut through the ropes?" He started to work on trying to undo the knots by hand.

Tony slipped the blade so it was facing away from him, and turned in the direction of McGee so he could get a better angle at cutting through the cords. Unfortunately, he turned far too fast without checking to see what his position was; his elbow knock against the back of his chair right in the funny bone, and his entire arm immediately went numb. Managing to stifle a cry, he watched as the knife flew out of his hand at the automatic reflex action and landed just by his foot out of reach.

Tony gave an internal sigh. _You got to be kidding me._ As silently as he could, trying not to alert McGee as to the foolish error he had just made, he began reaching with his foot in an effort to kick the knife back over to him; the blade was just out of reach of his tapping foot.

_Come on, Mr. Probie's backup weapon; be a good example of Gibbs' Rule 9 and come back over here. Come on, come on… I really don't have all day to be screwing around here, so why don't you help me out and get under my foot so I can grab you?... Damn it; get your steely self over here, now!_

In frustration, Tony made an angry kick towards the blade. Missing it completely, he couldn't help but wince as his foot collided with a nearby table and struggled to bite back his cry of pain. However, he completely forgot about it when he saw the lit candle on the table tip over, roll across the top and then tumble onto the floor; the spot on the carpet where it landed immediately burst into flame, followed by the legs of the table as the fire quickly began burning up the wood and spread up to the table itself.

Tony, who was now sweating from both worry and the growing heat, looked on for a moment, racking his brains for what he should do. _What would someone do in a movie like this? Someone who's a real badass. Someone like, oh I don't know… the great Sean Connery? What would he do?_

Unable to come up with anything definitive, Tony did the first thing that entered his mind; he leaned forward and tried to blow the flames out like he would on a birthday cake. Of course, instead of extinguishing the fire, it immediately spread the flames further, now engulfing the better part of the carpet and spreading dangerously close to the spot where the two men were tied up.

Tony leaned back and cleared his throat. "Uh, Probie," he called back, "you might want to leave those knots for a moment; we have a small situation here."

"Not now Tony, save it for when we're in the clear." McGee answered absently. Then, almost as an after thought, he asked, "What situation?"

"Oh, nothing much." Tony replied nonchalantly. "Just that the floor's on fire."

McGee's eyes opened up wide and his head whipped up, turning quickly around. Tony added, "Oh, _and_ the table."

"Tony! Move your chair! Go, go, go!" Both men began valiantly moving shuffling their chairs back and forth, scraping them across the floor, shuffling inch by inch; the fire spread on the floor to end of the room and reached a silk drape, which immediately was set alight. The drapes were quickly eaten up by the flame, and within a matter of second the blaze had reached the wooden doorframe and drywall, immediately engulfing half the room in fire.

Desperately, McGee looked around the room, trying to find any place that would offer them shelter. He tried to remember the layouts of the house that Gibbs had him memorize before he left- there had to be a safe haven here, even if Gibbs hadn't mentioned fires caused by brash partners as a possible source of danger here.

Then, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted it- the fireplace just a few yards from where they were now. It was dry and dusty but for the moment, it was fire-free. How ironic, he thought; the one place where they would be safe from fire seemed to be the one place in the room where there should have _been_ fire!

"Tony!" McGee called, still looking at the fireplace. Seeing his partner was not looking in the same direction, he turned his head to the other side- just as Tony turned his head to look at the fireplace.

"What?" The senior field agent asked. That was strange, he thought; he could have sworn for sure Probie was calling him, yet he wasn't facing him. He turned his head back the other way- just as McGee turned back towards the fireplace.

"Tony!"

"What?"

"TONY!"

"WHAT?"

After another round of looking in the opposite directions, McGee finally kept his head looking towards the fireplace while Tony whipped his around to look in the same direction. "Get to the fireplace!"

"You couldn't have mentioned that sooner?" Tony moaned as the two men shuffled their chairs over to the area in question. And not a moment too soon- the fire had engulfed the entire carpet and was now burning through the entire room.

Breathlessly, Tony shouted back to McGee. "You have any other bright ideas, Probie-wan-Kenobi?"

"Hey, I'm not the one who set this room on fire! How about you come up with some bright ideas for a change?"

"Because I make them on a daily basis?" Tony shook his head. This whole situation seemed so familiar to him. He could have sworn it came straight from a Hollywood script, but _what the hell movie did he remember this scene from?_

**A/N: Still interesting? How's it going so far? Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

"Well, thank you very much McGenuis!" Tony yelled over the low roar of the fire. "You've succeeded in cutting us off from any possible place of escape. My thanks to you!"

"If I hadn't told you to come over here," McGee yelled back, "we would have been burned alive by now! Tony, I know how much you hate doing paperwork, but how much paperwork do you think Gibbs would force on me if I had to explain how you managed to set the room alight and then burn yourself to a crisp?"

Tony gave a curt laugh. "You know, I'd almost willingly do that if I would be able to see you suffer through file after file that Gibbs stacks on you! I can just picture it; the MIT graduate and computer geek-extraordinaire red faced and grinding his teeth as his hand aches for a rest, only to be struck down by the great Leroy Jethro Gibbs!"

"Speaking from personal experience, are we Tony?"

"Hey, I didn't give you permission to sound like Ziva! Focus on the task at hand, McDistracted!"

"I'm trying to focus Tony!" McGee said through gritted teeth, resuming his attempt to manually undo the knots. "You're not making it any easier! Why don't you try on your end to get these ropes loose?"

"I'm trying Probie." Tony grunted back. "But it's not real easy when your mind keeps racing back to what that psychotic she-demon is planning up in her sick little mind to do to your body and your mind! You ever read that book _Heartsick_ by Chelsea Cain?"

"I'm surprised you read anything other than _Playboy_ magazines at all Tony."

"Very funny McGeek. I came across it when I heard they were planning to make a film adaption, and if they are they're going to have to either water it down until the fans riot or slap it with an NC-17 rating. And I'm telling you it'll be deserved. Picture it- a hardened, divorced cop in pursuit of drop dead attractive, psychotic female serial killer. She tracks him down, drugs him, kidnaps him and tortures him in the most painful ways possible, only to let him go after ten days."

"Why would she do that?"

"Because he went into cardiac arrest- she was trained in keeping people alive in those kinds of situations and she did; performed CPR until the paramedics arrived. Would make a great movie if they stayed faithful to the novel."

"And just how does this relate to our current predicament?"

"You saw the bodies of her victims after she was done with them; if we end up getting caught again by Alexia, I could always buy time for us by going into cardiac arrest myself. She may end up calling 911 in her panic and lead Gibbs right to us."

"You can't predict when you go into cardiac arrest, Tony; it's not a switch you can flick on and off."

"Yeah, but there's nothing that says you can't do that by _faking_ cardiac arrest. I should do that the second she first spots us- spare us the later agony."

"How can you _fake_ cardiac arrest?"

"Easy; I'll just think of something that'll stop my heart dead in its tracks. Question is- what would it be? Help me out here Probie- tell me the number of years it's been since a girl asked you out on a date."

"For crying out loud Tony, will you stop with your stupid remarks? And while you're at it, stop calling me Probie- _please_! We have enough trouble right now as it is without your petty insults and nicknames!"

"Yeah?" Tony shouted back in frustration. "Well I don't see _you_ coming up with any bright ideas! At least I'm trying to lighten the tension here! You just sit there and do nothing but gripe and complain!"

"Speak for yourself." McGee muttered, turning his attention back to his bonds. His eyes gleamed as he discovered that the ropes were much looser now than when before. "Hey listen Tony- I almost have myself loose here. Just give me a minute and I should be able to…"

In the midst of speaking, McGee had neglected to observe that his foot was resting on a loose piece of metal attached to the wall of the fireplace and when he pressed down on it unintentionally, there was a _click_, revealing it to actually be a type of lever. One second later, with a low rumbling of stone rubbing against stone, McGee suddenly felt himself going backwards as the fireplace began turning around. "What the…"

The two agents barely had time to react as the fireplace began to turn in a complete circle, revealing that the lever allowed access to a hidden room behind it. Tony and McGee looked in the direction of this newly found area and both froze as the sight came into view; a dark, cold room like a prison filled with people. Men and women, all of whom somehow by the grace of God were turned away from the fireplace, were bent over various tables, occupied with certain tasks; a stretcher lay in the middle with restraints for hands and feet, and tables lay on both sides porting numerous knives and other less than friendly instruments. The occupants in the room spoke rapidly to each other in Russian, seeming to be in the middle of some kind of argument. Neither man could understand a word of it; their knowledge of the language nonexistent.

In the ensuing moment, McGee was too shocked and stunned to move and his foot remained frozen on the lever, making the fireplace keep spinning around in a complete circle. The dark room disappeared from view and soon the two men found themselves back in the fireplace of the living room; the fire had grown even stronger in the mere seconds they had been absent from it and the intense heat now lapped at their faces, reminding them of the seriousness of the situation.

"Oh, well thank you very much McGee." Tony called back sarcastically. "Our situation has just improved _dramatically_!"

Rolling his eyes at the ex-cop's words, McGee merely said, "Hold on Tony, I almost got both arms free. Then we can…"

McGee's foot accidently tripped the lever again, only this time he didn't keep it on; his only clue that something was wrong was the fact that the fireplace was suddenly rotating again and within seconds they found themselves back in the dark room. Only this time, they stayed there.

Slowly, one of the women on the side of table nearest them turned around and stared right at them- this one had a short dark hair and mysteriously familiar expression- almost as if she had done this before.

After a moment, Tony and McGee both slowly gave small smiles towards her. Innocent smiles. Surely she wouldn't believe that they- tied back to back to chairs, one sporting a big-ass bruise on his face- had stumbled upon this room with the intention of trying to escape and/or kill the other occupants, would she?

Slowly, the woman gave a smile of her own; a wide, toothy smile. Eyes wide and crazed, there was only one word on her tongue:

"_ALARM!_"

The other people in the room whipped around, giving startled shouts at the sight of the two men.

"McGee!" Tony shot a look of panic over towards them as members started racing over to the side of the room, where a sling of AK-47s were stacked against the wall.

McGee, in a bout of panic of his own, quickly looked down and slammed his foot to the lever; the fireplace immediately started turning around just as the bullets started to fly. They could hear them rattle against the concrete and were soon back in the relative 'safety' of the fireplace facing the blazing room.

"McGee, I got it!" Tony stood up triumphantly as the ropes fell away from him, taking a second to stretch his muscles and groan with relief as well. "Hold on; I'll help you with that." He reached over and giving a mighty tug of strength managed to undo the final knot securing his partner to the chair. McGee leapt up from the chair and gave a very similar stretch, obviously relieved at being free to stand.

And not a moment too soon! The fireplace started turning again! McGee and Tony quickly pressed their backs to the back of it and silently rode it to the other side, while the Russians burst out of the fireplace, coming to a grinding halt just in front of the flames, shouting back and forth to each other about what the hell was going on.

All but one man, who stayed in the fireplace, head whipping around in every direction trying to figure out where the NCIS agents had gone. It was obvious that they had not escaped out through the fire, so that could only mean…

He quickly hit the lever with his foot and rode the fireplace back around. There was a muffled shout as the panel continued to swing without stopping followed by two separate punching noises. The Russians in the other room swung back around just in time to see the fireplace return to its normal position; the notable addition being the slumped over unconscious body of their fellow comrade. Their race to the fireplace wasn't quite fast enough to stop the panel from moving.

From the other side, Tony watched as the panel click yet again and the fireplace began to swing around another time. Looking around quickly, he scooped up the AK-47 of the gunman that he and McGee had just knocked out and jammed it between fireplace and the wall, bringing the panel to a dead halt.

"This place blows; let's get out of here." He said definitively to McGee as he strode across to the stairs leading upwards on the other side of the room.

"Hey Tony, wait! We've no idea what's up there!"

Tony looked at his partner disbelievingly. "What do you mean? I thought you said you studied the plans for this building!"

"Yeah, but we had no idea any of this existed! This didn't show up on our schematics!"

"Well, isn't that just peachy?" Tony said sarcastically. "Well, the time's a wastin', McGPS. This is the only way out of this room and I have no idea how long that rifle's going to hold. Unless, of course, you'd rather await the arrival of those cheerful gun-totters with all these delightful tools in here…"

McGee quickly pushed past him up the stairs; Tony followed, grinning to himself. However, it didn't last long as the two men quickly found themselves in a bare, dead end room at the top of the stairs.

"Well," Tony said dryly, "that's sure a joy killer."

"I don't understand." McGee spoke tensely. He started pacing back and forth, searching frantically for something- anything- that would show them a way out of there. "There should be a- a door or a window or something! A trapdoor or a gate or- anything!"

"You know, McGee, you really worry too much sometimes." Tony replied, although he didn't feel nearly as calm as he sounded. He leaned back against the stone wall. "I think sometimes you need to just lean back…"

A stone that was jutting out of the wall further from the rest of them slid back when Tony pressed his back against it. There was a low rumbling sound beneath McGee's feet; looking down, his eyes opened wide as the stones beneath him, sank into the ground, morphing into a spiral staircase heading downwards. McGee stumbled, tried to catch his balance, failed, and with one desperate look towards his partner fell backwards down the stairs.

"_TONY!_"

Tony, awestruck by what had just transpired, gave a massive Cheshire grin. "… and let nature take its course!" He finished triumphantly.

_Man, am I on roll today!_ The senior agent thought as he jogged down the steps. _Only the great Tony DiNozzo could have pulled something like that off! Now if I could just remember the name of that damn movie_…

**A/N: Love it? Hate it? Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

Tony and McGee both bounded down the last steps and burst into the area at the bottom. A large empty room made of stone with two doors, one leading to the left and one leading to the right.

"Well McGee," Tony said as his eyes passed between the two doors, "which is the lucky door number we get to choose?"

McGee didn't reply.

"McGee?"

"I'm thinking Tony, I'm thinking! I didn't memorize this part of the building as much as I did the others."

Tony grinned. "Getting a little soft in the head, are we McGeek?"

"I'm trying to remember Tony! If we pick the wrong door, who knows what we'll find on the other side! A group of terrorists armed with machine guns maybe!"

"Man, you're a real optimist! You gotta take some chances every so often, McCautious! Live a little! Like that movie says- Live Free or Die Hard!" _Hmm, was that the movie I was thinking of? Nah, that can't be it; gotta be another one_. He shook his head. "If I let you pick, we'll be here all day; I'll choose one and keep my fingers crossed. I vote we choose to see what's behind the Lucky Door on the Left!"

However, there was no time to act on this decision, as just then the door in question swung open and in marched about five heavily armed men with AK-47s, four of which immediately trained their weapons on the agents. Tony and McGee looked at each other slowly, and Tony sighed. "I guess it was the one on the right." He said heavily as the two men slowly raised their hands.

The man in the front of the group took a few steps forward. "NCIS Special Agent?" He asked in a thick Russian accent.

"Yes?" Tony and McGee both said at the same time.

The man seemed unimpressed. He shifted his rifle in his hands and said, "I will take the computer codes now."

McGee and Tony looked at each other for a moment, and then turned back to the man and said in unison, "What codes?"

"You have the access codes to the NCIS security mainframe in your pocket."

"Hah!" Tony laughed out loud as he lowered his hands. "You idiot! Do you honestly believe that my partner here would actually bring the true codes to NCIS on an undercover mission? That he would be that stupid as to take the chance to let them fall into the enemy's hands?" He turned to McGee. "McGee, tell them like it is!"

"Uh… well…"

"McGee?"

"Well… I…"

"Aw Christ you did, didn't you?"

"Hey it's not my fault!" McGee defended. "Gibbs said we needed some decoy codes in case we had to buy extra time to close the net around them. I didn't have time to make a set of false ones, so I had to use what I had! Besides I never believed we would have to actually use them! Just calm down!"

"_Calm down?_" Tony bellowed. "Why the hell do you think Gibbs would tell you to use a set of _false_ codes in the first place? So a bunch of terrorists and assassins wouldn't be able to just prance into our security system!"

"It would have gone off fine if you hadn't decided to come riding in on an unnecessary rescue mission!"

"Oh yeah?" Tony growled. "And just who the hell do you think _you_ could possibly ever rescue- _Probie_!"

McGee's eyes filled with fury. "_I told you_…"

In a sudden movement, he had grabbed the AK-47 from the hands of the nearest Russian and snatched it out of his hands, pushing the man back into the rest of them. There was a muffled shout from one of them but he ignored it; eyes blazing, teeth gritted, he raised the weapon and jammed his finger against the trigger. The Russians' bodies jerked around as the bullets ripped through them, dancing like skeletons whose bodies were being jolted with five hundred volts of electricity. There were a series of crashes as bodies and weapons fell to the floor in front of them.

Tony's mouth fell open in shock; his eyes widened as he took a small step forward, observing what the junior agent had just done to the group of professional killers. McGee, his face literally leaking anger and frustration, growled out, "…_don't call me 'Probie'_."

He grabbed Tony by the arm and jerked him towards the door on the right. As the junior agent passed through it, Tony's eyes swept over the carnage his Probie had just left behind. "Look what you _did_!" He murmured incredulously. He stopped by the door and examined one of the Russians, whose body, perforated with bullets, was crumpled in a heap against the wall. "I can't _believe_ what you did…" His disbelief was abruptly cut off and McGee seized him by the arm and dragged him through the door.

**A/N: Yeah, I know it's really short but it was the best way to make it work! Please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

"I can smell the sweet sense of escape and victory now, McGee!" Tony said gleefully as the two men made their way down a long, stony corridor. "Just a few more moments and we'll be home free! We'll call in reinforcements on this place and watch with delight as Gibbs rains down hellfire on these trigger-happy bastards! I _cannot wait_ to get a front row seat for that in Observation!"

"You may not _get_ a seat in Observation when this is all said and done, Tony." McGee grumbled as he kept the AK-47 pointed in front of him; he wasn't going to let it down until he was certain they were in the clear.

"Why? You don't think the Bossman would take this whole mess out on me? I'm his favourite agent! Theoretically speaking I'm the reason that we're racing to freedom right now. He might give me a new imprint on the back of my head, but he wouldn't take everything out on me? That, my dear deep undercover technophile, is your role to fill."

"I wasn't talking about Gibbs, Tony." McGee turned around and pointing his weapon in the same direction as the ex-cop. "I was talking about me possibly killing you for ruining the op!"

"Whoa! Hey! Watch where you point that thing, McTrigger-Happy!" Tony quickly grabbed hold of the gun and pointed back away from him. "Next time you decide to go all gun-crazy on someone, I want to be well out the picture. If people saw what happened back there, they might start thinking you were somehow _manlier_ than me!" He snorted and shook his head. "There's no way that would _ever_ be _remotely_ possible in this world- not a chance in hell."

"In case you've forgotten, _I'm_ the one who shot up those gunmen, Tony- not you."

"Once in a lifetime occurrence, my fine Pro- uh, Elf Lord; once in a lifetime. Pretty soon you'll be back typing up your reports about how your op went to hell and back."

"Yeah- because of you!"

"No need to get testy, McGeek. I'll explain what happened to Gibbs and I'll take the responsibility for blowing it up; after all, that is what happened. But since it was _your_ undercover op McGee, it's going to be _you_ filling out all the paperwork in all the delightful tech details." He grinned.

"If I get saddled with the paperwork Tony, I'm going to make sure that you get just as much as I do."

"There is no force, in heaven or hell, which could make me do any more desk work than you, Probster."

McGee stopped and turned around to face him, giving the senior agent his best 'Gibbs stare'. "How about some kind of force from right here on earth then, Tony?" He motioned with the AK-47.

"You don't do the stare nearly as well as Gibbs and your threats don't carry the weight of Ziva's, McGee. As much as I appreciate the way this situation is bringing out the best of your field agent skills- you can thank me for teaching you them later- I think I'm going to be the one to leave early. Works better anyway- your typewriter will still be at your place when you get there, whereas that gorgeous lifeguard I made reservations for dinner with tonight would not be so understanding."

"What makes you think Gibbs will not hold you back from that date just to teach you for barging in where you had no business barging in?"

Tony paused for a moment; he admittedly hadn't taken that into account, but he'd be damned if he let McGee know that. "Ah, the old DiNozzo charm and a reminder of my worth to the team ought to put that thought out of the Bossman's mind. Besides, even for Gibbs I wouldn't lose a date with Virginia. McGee I swear if you could see her stretch out just _one_ of her tanned, smooth legs you'd pass out for a week! Can't wait to spread some suntan lotion on them!"

"That's assuming we make it out of here alive, Tony."

"Aw, quit being such a pessimist! Look, there's the door right in front us! McWorried, there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of anymore!"

The two agents stepped through the door into the bright sunlight, and Tony was just on the verge of letting out a triumphant shout, when they heard the multiple clicks of hammers around them. A second later, the two men stopped dead when they saw at least a dozen armed men in front of them, all pointing machine guns at them. In the centre of all of them, dressed in black leather (was it Tony's imagination or did all beautiful women look ultra-sexy in black leather?), holding two fearsome-looking katana blades and wearing an amused look, was Alexia Bordorin.

McGee gave an exasperated sigh. "I think _Virginia_ is going to have to find someone else to spread her suntan lotion on." He dropped the weapon onto the ground and kicked it away from him as the nearest Russian motioned him to do with the machine gun.

Alexia merely shook her head. "Incredible." She said in mock awe. "I cannot believe that you two have managed to do all you have done. Do you believe that you are some types of superheroes destined to survive even the most unbeatable odds? Rambo is a little out of date for you gentlemen."

"You're right." Tony said earnestly. "I'm much more a John McClane type myself. And usually I'd never think of my partner here as a superhero but today, with everything going, I think he's cracked enough to think of himself as Indiana Jon-"

Tony stopped dead in his tracks. "That's it! Probie, I've got it! That's it!"

"That's _what_, Tony?" McGee asked, both confused and exasperated.

"The movie that I've been trying to remember! _Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade_! You know, the famous castle scene where Indy and his father were going round and round in the fireplace trying to find a way out of a burning room? Just like us! I can't believe I completely forgot about that! That's like, one of the greatest films of all time! How the hell could I have forgotten?"

"Enough." Alexia's voice rang out towards them. "As amusing as it has been to watch the two of you banter back and forth, I have no more time to waste on you." A satisfied gleam came into her eye as she brandished the katanas. "I am going to enjoy watching both of you suffer before you die. First I will torture you for information about NCIS, and then I will torture you for my own personal pleasure. And then, if you're still alive after that, I am going to make your deaths as slow and painful as humanly possible. A pity, Agent McGee." She cocked her head. "I think you would have made a great partner- and an even better lover. It is a shame I will have to kill you."

"Don't count on it." Everyone turned their attention to the area where the voice had come from- behind where the Russians were standing; an entire field unit of NCIS agents were spread out, aiming their weapons at the terrorists. At the forefront of this group were Gibbs and Ziva, both wearing pissed off expressions.

"Drop your weapons- all of you!" Ziva barked. When no one complied, Gibbs added, "It's over for you Bordorin; you've got nothing left to help you now."

Alexia merely smirked. "How do you believe you will be able to get out of this- Agent Gibbs, is it? You are outgunned and on unfamiliar territory. Besides, you will not get close enough to me to take me down."

All at once, her arms became a blur as she whirled with sudden and frightening speed and accuracy the katanas around her body. McGee and Tony stared wide-eyed at the skill the assassin displayed; it was faster than Ryan Reynolds in _X-Men Origins: Wolverine_! How could a person possess such skills in real life?

Ziva's eyes narrowed as she tried to get a clear view of the target through the mass of flying steel and black leather. Trained as she was as an expert shooter, she wasn't good enough of a shot to get a bullet past the whirlwind of blades going on in front of her. She thought about grabbing one of her knives, but then realized if she couldn't get a bullet past the katanas, she wouldn't be able to get a knife past them either. _What to do, what to do_?

Then Alexia's attention turned towards Gibbs. She smirked to herself, certain that even the ex-marine would be intimidated by her display. After all, she had reduced hundreds of men to tears simply with this action; why would this one be any different?

Gibbs merely looked at her for a moment, and then rolled his eyes in a very I-don't-have-time-for-this kind of way while letting out a large sigh. Unhesitatingly, he slid his hand to his side, drew it and raised it to waist level without looking at it and fired.

There were a series of crashes that all seemed to happen at once as Alexia, struck dead in the centre of the forehead, went crashing the ground, the katanas bouncing around and coming dangerous close to taking off her head and her arm (although Gibbs was of the opinion she'd probably be the prettier without 'em).

The ex-marine sniper looked around; all of the Russians, plus every one of the NCIS agents were staring at the prostate figure of the late Alexia Bordorin in shock. The Russians looked around each other, hesitated for just a moment, and then promptly dropped their weapons and allowed themselves to be taken into custody.

Gibbs strode over towards Tony, who by now was nervously rubbing the back of his neck. "So, boss… you, um… I didn't know you were a fan of that movie…"

_Thwack!_

"Ouch! Thanks boss."

"You're welcome DiNozzo. And just for the record, since you decided to put yourself into this little op uninvited, you can have the delight of filing all the necessary paperwork for it."

Turning around and hearing a whine from Tony, a triumphant cry from McGee and a teasing remark from Ziva, he turned and walked in the opposite direction, a small smile spreading over his face.

_And to think Harrison Ford did it in the film because he was sick! _

Gibbs merely shook his head. That was the last time he was ever substituting a night on his boat with watching an Indiana Jones film.

It also probably wouldn't hurt to conveniently 'forget' to tell Vance that the main reason that he had just shot dead an assassin with vitally important information was the fact that all the coffee vendors at NCIS were dry.

No reason to cause unnecessary panic.

**A/N: So, what do you think of this story? Like the 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' reference?**


End file.
